SAN FRANCISCO – Sterling Hayden, the towering Hollywood icon known for his roles in “The Godfather” and “Dr. Strangelove,” spent his final days in 1986 unburdening a lifetime of secrets, naming the gay actors of Old Hollywood he had secretly dated, according to private notes and conversations with loved ones obtained by this news organization.
Hayden, who died at age 70 from prostate cancer at his peaceful home in Sausalito, California, chose his final moments to reveal the truth about his hidden romantic life. The disclosures, never before made public, offer an unprecedented look into the double lives forced upon actors during Hollywood’s most repressive era.
The list includes three major stars: Sal Mineo, the tragic young actor from “Rebel Without a Cause”; Anthony Perkins, the introspective star of “Psycho”; and Clifton Webb, the elegant character actor. Each relationship marked a different phase of Hayden’s journey through an industry that worshipped masculinity while crushing any deviation from it.
Mineo, who was murdered in 1976 at age 37, met Hayden in 1955 at a beachside bar in Malibu. “Not dates in the Palm Springs desert as some rumors say,” Hayden wrote in his notes, describing a chance encounter when he was trying to escape Hollywood for his true passion – sailing. Mineo approached him not as a star but as someone who understood loneliness.
They talked until late about the fakeness of fame.
The relationship was short but intense, with Hayden feeling both a desire to protect the younger man and an attraction to his recklessness. Mineo’s role as Plato in “Rebel Without a Cause” had already made him a symbol of teenage rebellion, but behind the scenes, both actors were struggling against social prejudice that forced them into silence.
Perkins, known for his deeply insecure nature stemming from a strict upbringing, met Hayden at a private party in Beverly Hills in 1952, shortly after Hayden returned from service in World War II. Perkins was drawn to Hayden’s toughness – the 6-foot-5 actor had been a decorated war hero. Their relationship was intermittent but full of what Hayden described as “painful beauty.”
The two shared deep conversations about inner shame and the pressures of fame. Perkins, whose iconic role as Norman Bates in “Psycho” was widely seen as reflecting his own internal conflicts, later married and had children. But the rumors about him never stopped, and Hayden, at the end of his life, mentioned him with tenderness.
Webb, the sophisticated character actor famous for his role in “Laura,” was the first relationship, in the 1940s when Hayden was new to Hollywood. They met on the deck of a ship off the California coast, where Webb had come as a mutual friend. Webb’s wit and aristocratic demeanor broke through Hayden’s masculine shell with discussions about art and loneliness.
Webb never married and lived with his mother until her death. He died in 1966 from heart disease. For Hayden, Webb was a mentor who taught him how to survive in the industry while carrying the heavy burden of concealment.
These revelations come at a time when Hollywood’s history of hiding queer identities has become a subject of intense scrutiny. Hayden’s disclosures underscore the painful reality that actors like Rock Hudson, Montgomery Clift, and many others lived double lives to protect their careers.
Hayden, despite his leading-man looks and war hero status, was not immune to the pressures. His relationship with Mineo, in particular, reflects a generational shift – Hayden represented the old guard bound by norms, while Mineo was the rebellious icon of the 1950s. Both were pushed into the shadows by prejudice.
The actor’s decision to name names in private notes rather than through public interviews reveals his deep ambivalence about fame. He spent his entire career oscillating between Hollywood and the sea, which he called his “real life.” His passion for sailing, which began when he dropped out of school as a teenager and became a young captain, was a constant escape.
Hayden’s acting career spanned five decades, from his debut in “Virginia” in 1941 to his final roles in the early 1980s. He is best remembered for playing Capt. McCluskey in “The Godfather” and Gen.
Jack D. Ripper in “Dr. Strangelove.”
But he always considered his writing his true calling. His autobiography “Wanderer” and the novel “Voyage” remain powerful explorations of a conflicted man.
The actor’s testimony before the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1951, where he named communist colleagues under pressure, haunted him for the rest of his life. He called it his greatest shame. His secret relationships, which he kept hidden for decades, were another form of self-betrayal forced by a society that criminalized love between men.
Hayden passed away in 1986, leaving behind a legacy that includes three marriages, five children, and a body of work that captured the contradictions of his era. His final act of confession, while private, offers a window into the hidden history of Old Hollywood – a history of love, fear, and the human cost of intolerance.
